Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
