Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
you made out with another girl for some wings
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
