god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
