At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
