Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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