we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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