im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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