Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
