Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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