She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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