woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
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