is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
