I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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