he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
zippers are such a cool invention
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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