Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
