Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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