Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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