Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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