Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Your penis caused this!
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
