I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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