Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
