6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
