I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize