Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
