my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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