Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Randomize
