maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
