My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
