i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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