where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Fuck appropriateness.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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