But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
