Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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