The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
