I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
