Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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