Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
