it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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