his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Randomize
