if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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