I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Randomize
