you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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