i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
