i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
