I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
