Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
