Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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