This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
