His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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