I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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