Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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