grandma shit on top of the toilet
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize
